Include me, please…
In my 10 years of HR industry experience, I have heard these 2 words thrown together far too often: Inclusion & Diversity. It’s like bread & butter or Tom & Jerry as if they were 2 sides to the same coin. I used them loosely too; not really understanding what either of them meant. I guess to understand it, you need to be have been on the receiving side of bias. Diversity is all around us. We work with people from different social backgrounds, cities, upbringing, sexual orientation and beliefs. That is diversity. Inclusion is what needs work. It was only recently, when I had a chat with someone who was exiting the company, that I realized inclusion is a much bigger concept and that my mind hadn’t wrapped itself around it all these years. I thought I was entirely inclusive. Turns out I wasn’t. Let me tell you how.
One of my responsibilities is to plan the office outings and ensure everyone turns up and has a good time. I did my best to find the best venues, great food, great alcohol and the places that played the best music. I thought I was doing everything right because everybody enjoyed themselves too. There were a few in office who don’t drink or would not prefer drinking with their colleagues. I still thought they could come and have fun with the rest of us. We had non-alcoholic beverages arranged for them and let’s admit it — it’s a lot of fun to watch people who are drunk and being silly.
I was wrong. It took someone leaving the company, who attended such parties and drank too, to point out that his friends who didn’t drink were feeling out of place there and our parties should start considering folks who want to have a good time without alcohol too. What a revelation for me! In something as basic as planning a party, which I thought I was really good at — I hadn’t been inclusive.
For those of you who are curious — our next outing is planned at a sports arena where there are a host of games that anyone can enjoy and no alcohol! More on that in my next post. Coming back to this post, specifically — I wasn’t doing my bit in being inclusive. It didn’t need any extra effort either. All I had to do was realise that it is a conscious choice to be inclusive and make it a habit to consult everyone if I didn’t know them well enough, personally, to know all their preferences before-hand. The company may not be big enough to have ethnic minorities, wherein inclusion has to come in from all angles , but it sure is easy to practice like it did.
Inclusion and respecting diversity is a habit and like all other habits, it develops over time with repetition and a belief that that’s what is right. When I began research for this post and a session I have been asked to conduct on this, I was surprised with the number of articles detailing the wondrous initiatives companies have for their women: workshops, growth guidance, breaking the glass ceiling, including women in the executive board, parity with their male colleagues and what not. This almost sounded like women were not being included in these companies and the HR teams thought these initiatives will help. By, potentially, excluding one gender, these companies are also guilty of creating bias against the other gender. Supporting all groups is crucial and that is not best done by selective exclusion.
Inclusion — the word itself suggests that it is all encompassing. You don’t need to push one side under the bus to seem like you’re “for” the other side. You’re not being inclusive if you do that. It starts with understanding that all feelings of harassment come from exclusion — which is obvious through words, actions and body language. Making a joke on someone’s physical appearance, religious beliefs, political beliefs, sexual preferences, capabilities, language skills, tone, accent, voice — anything — can be perceived as harassment in this scenario. It’s not just jokes for that matter. It could be silent judgment, eyes following the person or just refusal to acknowledge. Harassment is in the eyes of the beholder. It is super subjective and can stem from any discomfort they may feel with the person they feel is harassing them.
I have seen cases where a statement made in passing was perceived as being very “insensitive, personal and totally uncalled for” and cases where men have also felt like their personal space is being invaded by a female colleague going too close to talk or sitting on the table as they worked on their laptop/ monitor or receiving “uncalled for” back and shoulder massages. The point is not to be so conscious of where you stand or what you do but to be sensitive to the fact that different people are different and you can never truly know your colleagues inside out. When it comes to the work place, it is better to err on the side of caution. If someone is OK receiving a hug from one colleague, that IS NOT a free for all invite to anyone else who would like to hug this person. Understanding your personal rapport with the person is crucial before stretching those arms.
Diversity in the workplace is of no use if we can’t be inclusive or learn how to inherently respect everyone we work with on a day to day basis. Employee Engagement is a reflection of your team’s state of mind and how well connected they are to the office and work environment — both physically and emotionally. It doesn’t come from HR or the top. It comes from everyone working towards a common goal.
